Ghirardelli Luxe Milk Squares

A couple years ago, I ate at the Ghirardelli Soda Fountain and Chocolate Shop in Orlando, Florida's Downtown Disney. I still remember the deliciously bittersweet cookie sundae I split with my husband. This is what immediately comes to mind when I think of Ghirardelli chocolate, so my opinion of the brand is pretty positive.

A marketing company representative kindly provided me with coupons for free products from Ghirardelli's new Luxe Milk line of all natural chocolatse, and in my area, I was able to find the Milk and Almond squares, as well as two bars to be reviewed shortly. As always, I wasn't paid for this or any review.


Though I usually prefer dark chocolate, I can always enjoy good milk chocolate. Luxe Milk Milk was very clean, classic, and quite tasty. The chocolate had a slightly nutty scent with the mild cocoa. The texture was the best part for me; it was smooth and rich but not sticky. The flavor was milky and just a little like caramel. It was quite enjoyable and not too sweet, and it made me rethink my beliefs about milk chocolate. A

Almond smelled milky as well, but the aroma of the toasted almond came through for a nice effect. The almonds were chunks rather than slivers or whole almonds, so the meatiness of the nuts was a nice change of pace. There was just a hint of saltiness which was interesting with the buttery chocolate (it reminded me of popcorn), but I think I preferred the milk chocolate by itself. This was a different take on almond chocolate, though, and I did enjoy this flavor, too. B+

Ghirardelli website

Trident Layers Cool Mint + Melon Fresco

Sometimes, a gum just sounds right from the get-go. Cool Mint + Melon Fresco called out to me in the check out lane, as gums often do, and I answered. I love a good fruity mint, and melon is a great companion for mint. Maybe I wouldn't mind getting paid in this flavor...

For any readers in the New York city area, Trident is doing a bit of exciting non-traditional marketing in Times Square today from 6:30 AM until 2:00 PM. At Broadway and 42nd street, a fleet of taxis will give rides in exchange for a pack of this gum. There will also be celebrity appearances (Bethenny Frankel and Wendy Williams), free samples of the new flavor, and chances to win prizes instantly, or by snatching as many mint leaves in a "Grab for Mint" cyclone booth. It sounds pretty refreshing!


The gum smells like mint, and if I had to nail it down, I'd say spearmint. As I chewed, the melon flavor came out from the sticky center. It was like an extra tart almost honeydew, and it went very well with the mint. The sourness made the melon come off a bit like lime, but it was very subtle.

It's definitely my favorite of the Trident Layers flavors, and it's something I would buy again. The refreshing flavor lasted a very long time (probably around 20 minutes), and the gum had a good texture throughout the chew. If fruity-mint gum is not your thing, you may not like this one, but this gum was really well received by my friends and coworkers when I shared the pack.

A

Trident Website

Note: A PR company representative provided information about the promotional event, but I had already tried the gum, and this contact did not influence my review (not that it would have if I hadn't tried the gum). On a side note, I wish cool promotional events took place in the midwest...

Clif Peanut Butter Pretzel Mojo Bar

I'm no stranger to the Clif granola bar line. Hell, when I was a kid, I was sitting on the bench, that one summer my dumb parents signed me up for teeball, eating those granola bars and cheering on my teammates. "Go, Jeffy! You can do it!" I'd turn to my coach and tell him gently that I probably ought to sit one out. "I think it's my lumbago, coach. It'll heal up with some TLC and another granola bar, but Jeffy looks like he's handling the field pretty well."

I was a bench warmer all summer. It was a short-lived experience, teeball, but through my teenage years and adulthood, I still enjoyed Clif bars and enjoyed pretending to be an exercising athlete even more. When I saw this new version in the store, I nearly blew a gasket. UMass had been dodgy in stocking this particular flavor, and since there's nothing more that I love than salty and sweet, it was hard to pass this up.

Peanut Butter Pretzel boasts peanut butter chips and peanut butter filled pretzels. Talk about a yo dawg. The granola bar resembles a disgruntled rice krispie treat with various chunks and pockmarks studding its exterior. It has that airy, chewy texture, too, but less thick and less gooey.

The flavor is a little strange. It’s funny because in the last bar I had, I experienced this similar weirdness which leads me to believe it wasn’t related to the batch. It had an aggressively salty flavor like unmixed natural peanut butter that didn’t settle well with the creamy peanut butter chips. The pretzels sort of faded away into the generic crispies in the bar, and left a strange tang on my tongue. This is weird and kind of gross aspect that definitely solidifies my previous fear about buying these again. If I want a peanut butter and salt fix, I’ll stick to Target’s brand of granola bars. They taste much better and are way cheaper.

Olive and Sinclair Salt and Pepper Chocolate Bar

I have a genuinely disturbing compulsion to put condiments in places that they don't belong. It's a pretty unhealthy relationship. If condiments and I were on the post-season finale of Teen Mom, Dr. Drew would be asking me and my adorable food-based child why we were still with the babydaddy. Sour cream goes on eggs, potatoes, and pancakes. Mayonnaise has become an edible primer for literally any flavor before going on sandwiches, and I need at least three dipping sauces for whatever appetizer we're eating before I stop hyperventilating over a lack of dipping sauces.

Seeing this chocolate bar and needing it confirmed that I do have a problem and that, further more, I am completely unwilling to do anything about it. Salt and pepper in a chocolate. Both are fantastic on their own in chocolate, but together evoke fantastic images of two of my favorite things, artisan chocolate and cheap fast food, consummating an unrequited love and creating this thing.The resulting chocolate bar was about as successful as all of the participants of Teen Mom. Clearly, these two foods should have never made love. The dark chocolate was average at best, despite having a beautiful engraving of the company logo on it and being studded with the spices, and had very few notes to it. To be frank, it tasted like Hershey's take on dark chocolate. The spices were obnoxious. The salt was palpably melting on the tongue and the pepper was barely present until, like a persistent sexually transmitted infection, it started burning in the back of my throat. It was annoying, but detracted from the mediocre chocolate, and we didn't end up finishing the bar. Overall, it seemed as though the additions in the chocolate never really melded with the bar, but rather, sat on top of it and interfered with enjoying it.I was surprised at the positive publicity this got from other chocolate connoisseurs, but to each his own. I'm still going to search for the perfect mustard/sriracha/ketchup/soy sauce/barbecue sauce related chocolate bar. Hopefully it will be more integrated than this.

Mitsitam Café - DC

A funny thing happened when I was looking for suggestions of places to eat in DC. A cafeteria came recommended not once, but a few times.

I do love cafeterias (not for the usually sub-par food, but for the associations and memories), so when Mitsitam Café, a cafeteria-style eatery at the National Museum of the American Indian in DC, came highly suggested, I was game.What's intriguing about Mitsitam Café is that they present traditional and contemporary native cuisine from five regions across the Western Hemisphere, with dishes changing seasonally. The five areas of the Americas represented are Northwest Coast, Northern Woodland, Great Plains, South America, and Meso America. My plan of action was to grab an item from each area.Lines were long, particularly at the South American station where totopos with toppings (nachos) were served, and at the Great Plains station where bison burgers were served. Silly Americans, sticking with the familiar.While most of the mains are not vegetarian, there are a wide variety of vegetarian sides (clearly marked, along with other dietary info) that are healthy, varied, and interesting. You'll never see a larger variety of grains and vegetables in a cafeteria, I'm sure. Tip: go with the most exotic ingredients, unless you are a fan of bland, simple vegetables. From the South American station, I got a tasty, but grainy, cup of peanut soup with sweet caramelized plantains and chili oil.A nutty and earthy wild rice and watercress salad came from the Northern Woodlands station.From the Great Plains came a chewy and slightly sweet wheatberry salad. The most interesting dish of the day was a slightly sweet and puckery pickled acorn squash and seabean salad from the Pacific Northwest. My very last stop was at the Meso America station for sopes topped with pinto beans, stewed vegetables, lettuce, and avocado. Large enough for an entire meal for one person, when the plate of sopes landed on my tray, I had then grossly over ordered.
But we can't forget dessert! So, a plate of churros with dark chocolate sauce from the Meso America station was ordered. Now my tray was obscene.
My entire order came out to about $32, but I ordered enough food for at least two starving people. More reasonable is their deal of four sides for $12.50.

While not the most elevated dining experience in DC, it's worth eating at Mitsitam Café if you are going to spend a day on the Mall sightseeing, not only because the dishes and ingredients from the five different Western Hemisphere regions get the ol' noggin' thinking about native foods of the Americas (food as education!), but, also, how often do you get to sample such a wide array of Native American foods?

Don't you dare reach for the nachos or burger!

Mitsitam Café
4th St & Independence Ave SW
Washington, DC 20560

Rustic Crust Crispy Italian

Keepitcoming and I have been cooking up a storm lately. Something about the weather really whets a girl's appetite and with the chill in the air and early nights, hot and comforting food is the way to go.Rustic Crust supplied the crust for this pizza, and Keepitcoming and I thought of the toppings. Having spent many nights dreaming of Bread Euphoria's prosciutto pizza, it was only natural to try and emulate that unctuous flavor. We picked up some fresh figs, prosciutto, and fresh mozzarella. The marinade we used for the figs acted as a light sauce and gave the pie a sweet, saucy edge. Delicious.We julienned the prosciutto into rough slices and sliced the figs, adding dry fresh mozzarella on top. Keepitcoming sauteed some scallions until crispy and brown and those went on top, too. The marinade was two parts olive oil, one part maple syrup (we didn't have honey) and a few twists of black pepper. It was a huge hit! I'd definitely slice this into squares and serve it at a dinner party. It's quick, approachable, and sophisticated.The crust itself was decent. It had little holes in it, no doubt to crisp up the dough while cooking, but those made it impossible to have a sauce on top without seeping through and burning on the bottom of the oven. This is all well and good if Rustic Crust includes oven cleaning services with their product, but would be a pain for the average home cook. Or the experienced home cook. Nobody wants smoke and burnt residue in their oven!Our pizza came out delicious and didn't get soggy or mushy, but rather, the opposite. It was more cracker-like than crusty, providing very little yield upon biting. I was almost worried that I'd chip a tooth. It was just a little too thick to comfortably bite, but the flavor was great and with the maple olive oil sauce, made a great dipper.

Durian Cookies

Swagger speaking. On a routine trip to the local Asian grocery to pick up some cooking goods and snacks, I saw these on the shelf next to the cookies I usually get. I’ve heard so much about durian and how bad it smells and how the taste is actually pretty good compared to the smell so I decided to pay the $1.60 for them and give them a taste. Aside from getting totally trashed that one time at this party and hooking up with a 3/10 then waking up in a bed naked the next morning and realized what had occurred, buying and tasting these cookies was the worst mistake I’ve ever made.

I don’t know if any of the people who read this blog have had encounters with durian, but the smell of the durian fruit is definitely as bad as everyone says, maybe even worse. I don’t know how many readers here are combat veterans and have been up close to the smell of death and dead bodies of exploded enemies; but according to my close friend, Sgt. Blastmaster, who is a combat veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom, the worst thing he has smelled before encountering durian fruit was when some guy decided to blow up rotten fruit stand next to a public bathroom with a suicide bomb in Fallujah. Apparently, even the smell of charred human flesh and exploded rotten fruit and sewage matter cannot even hold a candle to the smell of durian.From the one bite I took from one of these monstrosities before I had to go throw up uncontrollably I was able to gather that the wafer cookie itself tasted like a very thin layer of greasy particle board. The myth that durian tastes better than the smell is an awful lie people made to deceive the gullible, maybe it’s the same people that came up with Feng Shui house decorating. An equally cruel joke would be to go to a buddy’s house and leave these cookies hidden all over the place but it might result in them getting evicted or investigated by the authorities for suspicion of hiding dead bodies.

I cannot stress enough how bad these things smell or taste. They are probably the worst things I’ve ever encountered and I’ve been to underdeveloped countries. If you want to give these cookies or even the real fruit a try, go for it. Just make sure you have a bucket nearby and plenty of mouthwash.