Friday, August 5, 2011

How I Used My CSA: Week 12

Week 12: Sangria watermelon, Yukon Gold potatoes, baby bella mushrooms, red cippolini onions, lemon cucumbers, red beets, Sungold cherry tomatoes, red tomatoes.

This week's Lancaster Farm Fresh CSA half share contained all things rounded! We swapped out bell peppers for mushrooms, since we haven't had mushrooms in our shares in a while and have missed them.A classic caprese salad with CSA tomatoes, Mozzarella, and basil from our garden was eaten as a pre-dinner snack.

In addition to the tomatoes in this week's share, we had a few leftover from the previous week, so tomatoes played a big part in our meals. Sounds about right at this time of the year.
When the tomatoes are kickin', I like to make tomato pie. This is not pizza, but a pie shell filled with tomatoes, onions, and basil, then topped off with a cheese and mayo mix not dissimilar to pimento cheese. I just went ahead and used pimento cheese to top this pie.
This is pizza! CSA baby bella mushrooms and CSA tomatoes, along with Mozzarella and garden basil top the olive oil brushed dough. There's a white chili recipe I like to make in the cooler months that calls for yellow tomato sauce. Only problem is, you can't just go to the store and buy yellow tomato sauce. You gotta make your own. The Sungold cherry tomatoes were pureed and simmered down, then thrown into the freezer for a later chili-making date. How exciting to get a watermelon in our share! Most of the melon (we still have some left) has been eaten straight up. Were saving the rinds in the fridge to pickle them! At some point. Hopefully before they go bad.
For a couple of nights we did the ol' tried and true watermelon, feta, onion, and mint salad.
The CSA lemon cucumbers were over mature with too thick skins, but we put them to use any way. In the summer we almost always have a container of diluted vinegar with sliced onions in the fridge that we plop cucumber slices in on a weekly basis (don't worry, we make a fresh batch of solution every week or so). It's basically what I know as cucumber salad.
We tried a beet and pasta recipe that the boy had bookmarked. It was sort of like borscht on top of noodles. Good, but a bit odd. The beets combined with pasta wasn't weird. I think, for me, it was the dill in a warm sauce over pasta (dill on cold pasta is just fine) that confused my taste buds .

How did you use your CSA or farmers' market haul?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Triple Double Oreo

I think one of the most common responses to my begrudging mentioni-er, casually handing someone my-er, passive-aggressively bringing up this website is a generally rhetorical question about my weight. How do you not gain weight? (I don't) How do you keep off weight? (Prayer and vomiting) And, the coup de grace, how are you so beautiful and sexy? (God made me in his image, obvs- bangable to the max, son.)
I like to think I have both the best interest of marketing and personal taste in mind when choosing items to review for this site, yet also the interests of my friends, family, personal trainer, and mortal enemies in my thoughts as well.
Talkin' to you, Scorpion.
But sometimes, solely for my own curiosity, I've just got to suck it up and review products that are neither fancy nor fit-making. I texted my mom while buying these Oreos in the grocery store. "For tonight's post, which one of these would shame you less? Oreos? Or frozen pizza?" I typed, vapidly scanning the latest California Pizza Kitchen bastardization and the new Freschetta "Pizza, Cookies, Leftover Cereal and My Cousin's Homemade Strain of Purple Diesel" kit for stoners and binge eaters. She said the Oreos, and off home I trudged. Little did she know that these were no regular Oreos, but mutated Oreos for the obese and biracial demographic. A cookie to bring home to Mom, assuming you're Fat Albert. Yes, I'm referring to the underground marketing American Beauty, the Triple Double Oreo, brought to you by Michele Obama's doppelganger, Ochele Mobama. Sounds a little evil. (Nabisco, why dun u answer my calls?????)
"Triple Double", as the artist's depiction presents above, is not three layers of Double Stuf creme. That would be, and is confirmed to be, pretty fucking gross. Though it's worth noting that the white creme gloopily adhered to the cookies while the chocolate creme slid off in a solid mass. In this review alone, I have more fodder for a sociology paper than I did the last semester of college. It is a triple layer of cookies, that is to say, three cookies, sandwiching two layers of creme in chocolate and standard hydrogenated flavor. Got that? Soon we'll move onto card counting, Raymond Babbitt.
Don't banter over the linguistics in the comments form, people. I've already consulted with Noam Chomsky on this one, whereupon receiving the email and attached sexy Oreo pixxx, he shot himself in the head. So the crab play on cookies with a quacker on filling pretty much confirms my theory that Nabisco is just phoning it in at this point. They're not very interesting at all. For starters, you'll see that the filling flavors are simply ones we've had before, but now they're crammed in a package in a lopsided formation worse than the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Though it's clear that the Italians, with the exception of one Pauly D, would not touch these.
They couldn't even bother to make a separate middle cookie for these, that's how little thought there is invested in this new selection. That being said, I was surprised at how happy I was with the textures inside the cookie. The closest parallel I can draw is to the Reese's Crunchy Cookie Cup, with a layer of mush surrounding a layer of crunch. There is more crunch on the outside, but the inner texture is a welcome change from the gritty stickiness of the creme. The flavor of the two cremes is indistinguishable, and the overall flavor ends up tasting like a bulkier Oreo. Without milk, it was painful to consume, so I went with scotch instead. I imagine it would be better with the libation of your choice.
After the last bite, I was left feeling fairly apathetic, left only with a lust for the Crunchy Cookie Cup and a slight need to go run a few miles. The gym was closed, so I compromised by lighting the remainder of the package in front of the weight machines in a ritual sacrifice. If you're craving a crunchy cookie with a crunch in the middle and a special filling, the Oreo Fudge Cremes are probably a better choice, unless you're just dying to play a one-man pointy-edged version of Chubby Bunny with these behemoths.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Vacation: Portland

In the middle of our week in Seattle, we ducked down to Portland, Oregon, for two brief nights. Before heading south to Portland, though, we rented a car and took a little detour. We pointed our car north to get on the Kingston ferry, which took us over to the tippy-top of the Olympic Peninsula. It's not very populated on the Olympic Peninsula, so much of the drive looked like so, with tall evergreens and yellow ribbons of invasive Scotch Broom. Oh, and gorgeous, steely blue lakes. Forks, Washington, the small town and setting for the Twilight books happens to be on the western edge of the Olympic Peninsula, which you'll drive through to get where you're going.

What a depressing little town. Not nearly as romantic and quaint as I had imagined it to be from reading the book (I stopped at book one, unable to stomach Bella's dependency issues). Trust me, if you lived in Forks, and a sparkly vampire showed up, you too would want to jump his cold, cold bones. There's just simply nothing else to do there!

Edward will show you to the ladies' bathroom at Forks' Chinese restaurant!The whole reason we went hours and hours out of our way from Seattle to Portland was to hike around the Olympic National Forest. We chose to romp around the Hoh Rainforest. It's absolutely gorgeous! Lush and green every where you look. Massive spruces, firs, and hemlocks shoot above the fern and moss-covered ground. It also rains in the rain forest pretty regularly. Go figure.After hiking in the rain forest, we headed a bit south to our home for the night, Lake Quinault Resort, a little inn with ten or so rooms set on the north shore of Lake Quinault. This place was so freakin' cute with cabin-like rooms lined up along a long deck covered with wisteria and potted flowers.
It was raining and misting that evening (we were still pretty much in the rain forest), so at times the lake vanished before our eyes even though it was just on the other side of the foxglove covered ridge just steps beyond our room and deck. We enjoyed a dinner on the deck of cheap Washington wine and Doritos from the corner store down the road. Absolutely perfect!
On the way from Lake Quinalt to Portland the next morning, we saw a roadside stand for cherries, so we stopped to experience Washington cherries while actually in Washington. These weren't life changing.Our first stop in Portland was for lunch at some of the food cart pods in downtown. A post on food carts is coming!
And, yeah, we did Voodoo Doughnuts, too, like good tourists. A post on that is also in the works.
We stopped in Powell's Books, a gigantic independent book store that takes up an entire city block in downtown Portland. These types of places overwhelm me, and I can never think of what to look for, so I just wandered aimlessly. The sides of their carts for re-shelving books have different themes and doodles. Above is a kitty cart!

We didn't really have much of an agenda for our two nights in Portland, other than to just show up and spend some time with the boy's friend who lives in Portland, which we did by hanging in bars, restaurants, and back yards. We picked our friend up after work in downtown, then drove out to his house in a neighborhood north of Portland.
Portland is über-cute! Every house has a flower garden or vegetable garden out front, and is just so damn cute (like the random house above) that you could pinch it. Houses have porches! How I miss porches.You can also have backyard chickens in Portland. These are our friends' chickens. They also had a yard with a vegetable garden out front, and a vegetable garden in the back.

I was really digging the vibe of Portland. It's a city with a downtown large enough that you feel like you're in a real city, and has quaint neighborhoods of cute houses (with yards and porches!) anchored by retail and restaurant districts. Portland reminded me a lot of Austin, Texas, but obviously with a different climate.

Speaking of climate, in those two nights we were in Portland, the weather did get to me. Even though it didn't rain at all when we were there, it was cloudy and cold. The mornings were in the 50s, and didn't warm up to the low 70s until the afternoon. For me, that is just not acceptable in the summer. My hands were freezing, and I was grumpy. When I found a patch of sun, I'd stop and soak up as much of it as I could. I don't think I'd survive in Portland. We stopped by the Portland's famous International Rose Test Garden one chilly morning. I hate roses (I have to take care of them, and, it's true, every rose has its thorn!), but even I, a rose-hater, appreciated the over 8000 immaculately cared for roses in this free-to-the-public garden.
Right next to the rose garden, is the Portland Japanese Garden, a very nice traditional Japanese Garden that is worth the admission fee.

A bit down the road from the rose and Japanese garden is the Hoyt Arboretum, which is free to enter. Go here if you like strolling or running on wooded trails with botanical names tagged on trees.
Every last Thurday of the month there is a Last Thursday festival with artists, performers, and food vendors lined along, oh, maybe ten or more blocks of Alberta St. This event is huge. Thousands of people. Some serious freak flags flying! I might get tired of this event after a couple of visits, and certainly if I lived right off Alberta St. (thousands of people also need to park somewhere), but it was fun that once.

Above is a Prince tribute band at Last Thursday. The singer had the look and body size down, except he was Prince's not-quite-so-sexy cousin. I'd probably still do him.
The morning we woke up to head north for Seattle, the forecast was for "abundant sunshine" (that's what the news kept excitedly repeating), so we decided to take the hour detour off highway 5 up to Mount St. Helens. We were warned that on cloudy or rainy days the view of the volcano can be cruddy, but with "abundant sunshine, " the view was perfect!

I highly recommend you stop by the Johnston Observation Ridge, which is situated directly across from the side of Mount St. Helens that was blasted off in the 1980 volcano eruption. The Johnston Observation Ridge visitors center is very nice, with an engrossing movie (volcanologists were monitoring the volcano and knew of it's impending activity, so there is plenty of footage of the blast and subsequent destruction), and state-of-the-art exhibits relating tales of survival and tragedy. Amazing! Very glad we stopped.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Madecasse Chocolate

Madecasse 70% cocoa IMG_4664
I just might have a new favorite chocolate brand. It's not cheap at $5.99 a bar (I bought both of these myself), but Madecasse Chocolate is worth the investment. It's single origin chocolate from Madagascar, but beyond that, they pay above fair trade prices and provide equipment and training to their cocoa farmers. Oh, and it's delicious.

The two bars I've tried are the 70% Cocoa and the Sea Salt & Nibs (63% cocoa). My friends and family have had to put up with me raving about this brand for several days now (but it's worth it because I share). I'm not a chocolate connoisseur, but it's not often that a bar impresses me this much.

Madecasse 70% cocoa

The first bar I tried was the 70% Cocoa. The understated packaging was beautiful, and according to the back of the wrapper, the little straw tie was hand-tied in Madagascar. Inside, the bar was wrapped in pale gold foil (and I do love shiny things), and the chocolate itself was a lovely shade. It broke cleanly along the perforations with a nice snap. The chocolate was had a deep and varied flavor; strongly fruity, but not acidic. I often enjoy chocolate at around 70%, and this was no exception. It was certainly bitter, but still silky smooth on the tongue.

IMG_4667

The packaging and look of Sea Salt & Nibs was similar, but the back of the bar was just beautiful. It smelled quite bitter, but the flavor was fruity and bright. The cacao nibs added a fantastic crunch and a strong, bitter bite on the tongue, but overall, it was sweeter at 63% cocoa. The sea salt was there to bring out the slight sweetness of the chocolate, and it was just right - not too strong but not absent. While I prefer the plain dark chocolate, it's nice to have a bit of texture variety.

I was thrilled with both of these bars, and looking back at old reviews, I've got to give both my top rating. Review blogging is subjective by nature, and it all depends how I feel about a product at the time. It usually takes multiple tastes over several days, but it's really just for fun.

A+

Madecasse Website

Antipodes Still Water

As of this very moment, at 11:59 on August 2nd, 2011, Eastern Standard Time, New York Magazine tells me in a year-old article that I am just now reading that the hipster subculture has died out. In the last few weeks, I have seen no androgynous boys rock the Spirit Hood, nor Kurt Hummel look-a-likes in keffiyahs, and for that, I am grateful. But while the human world is starting to recede from the bespectacled dead end of modern-day society and reembrace the gentle lull of tiny hats for full-sized heads and the ever-sexy Bermuda madras shorts, the fancy food world has taken a direct leap into the belly of obscurity, where the need for artisanal waters is fierce and the casual dropping of the word "kefir" is abundant and chilling to the bone.
To commemorate the passage of this bottom-feeding beast, I decided to uncap a bottle of one of my most prized samples, not an All Girl Summer Fun Band autographed 40 of PBR, but a bottle of Antipodes, artisanal still water from New Zealand. The website informs us that it's sourced 327 meters below the surface in an undisclosed, James Bond-esque location in New Zealand. You probably haven't heard of it. Before this harvesting, we are informed that it has spent "decades under enormous pressure in vast underground caverns" before being brought to us. At this point, I'm not impressed. I can name no less than six Asians off the top of my head that have spent two decades of their life in the same way, and they're doctors and lawyers now! And its cover letter reads like a valedictorian speech. It practically quotes Nelson Mandela.
I can post this if it's not pornographic or obscene. You be the judge!

I videotaped this because with all of these pressured terms being thrown around, I expected a little more boom for all of my effort. Alas, nary a hiss, and I'm now wondering if this water bottle just mentioned the decades of pressure to get a break from the 'fam with the help of DCF. Haters. The water is in a comically large bottle, large enough, I assume, to accommodate the translation of War and Peace on its side. It is rather unwieldy and in the process of videotaping its underwhelming hiss of air, I spilled what I'm going to guesstimate as being about $50 worth of water on the cat tower. I'll never recover financially.
This is like $800 bucks right here.
I tested the water in true American fashion, a blind taste testing, hoping to imitate a cheaper version of the famed 1976 Judgment of Paris. It was up against the very tap water that courses through Massachusetts, and to really see how fine-tuned my taste buds were, the last bit of Smirnoff vodka that we had. Never say that I don't enjoy my work. To my chagrin, it was incredibly easy to pick out the Antipodes from the tap water and vodka, and when compared, there really was a significant taste difference. The tap water had a faintly chlorinated flavor and weak, flat mouthfeel. The Antipodes was very clean-tasting in comparison and had a rounded, distinct texture. The vodka was sdfklj iojtooajajoggfgfgfkfdjfklhhh..................I had to have another three to make sure I was getting the correct sample.
I was impressed with Antipodes as it really did have a distinct flavor that made it taste more refined from regular tap water, but something about the product just seems pretentious. I would buy this again, but can't help to think that I'd be lumping myself in with skinny marathon runners and stuffy Fox Fires fans who lug these bottles to their races and concerts and pull them out at the very end to pose for cameras and jealous friends. "Oh, hey, Poland Spring? That's great stuff, I'm really into Antipodes right now. Yeah, I get it imported. It's just worth it, you know?" So for the aesthetics and marathon runners, I think I'll pass on this a second time. But if I ever get a hankering for it again, it's a mere 9,258 miles and 327 meters below the sea.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Seattle: Theo Chocolate

One of the first things we put on our Seattle vacation itinerary was a visit and factory tour of Theo Chocolate, the first organic and fair trade certified bean-to-bar chocolate factory in the US. Factory tours always remind of the good ol' days of grade school field trips, plus you don't have to twist my arm to get me to eat chocolate!

Factory tours are a reasonable $6 per person, and run 7 days a week, but be sure to book your tour in advance, as they fill up fast. If booking in advance slips your mind, you can get on a waiting list when you visit the store and factory (and you want to visit the store!). When we were there, a handful of people on the waiting list made it on the tour due to no-shows, so there is hope. They also have a "walk-in" tour every day at 2:30 where it's first come, first served.Why do you want to visit the store? Because they put out samples of almost every bar they create! You can easily eat a few bars worth of chocolate just circling the room tasting here and there. They recommend you hold off on sampling the chocolate before going on the tour because you'll sample chocolate on the tour as well, and they don't want you to spoil your palate. You don't even know the self control involved in that request! A group of about 20 followed our tour guide into a room with chairs where the guide enthusiastically, clearly, succinctly, and sternly told us the story of Theo, explained chocolate plants, and chocolate politics while passing around props and bowls of chocolate. Like school children, we could barely contain ourselves from giggling and making faces as we flashbacked to dominating, authoritarian teachers of past. Our tour guide (there are others) was actually very good, but just didn't give off warm fuzzies. Pretty much the antithesis of Willy Wonka.Here you see an 1930s era German ball roaster in the background, and cans filled with raw cocoa beans in the foreground.

To my dismay, the Theo Chocolate factory doesn't operate on the weekend, so our tour didn't involve machines churning and workers scurrying. Book a tour Monday through Friday, and you might catch the factory in operation.
It was in this room, where the beans are roasted then put through a winnower that separates the outer husks of the cocoa beans, that we were given samples of bitter, crunchy cocoa nibs, which are roasted, crushed cocoa beans.And, here's the kitchen where truffles and confections are made, and flavors like curry and coffee are added to chocolate before being molded into bars. I really would have liked to have seen some workers scurrying in the kitchen, tempering chocolate on the large, slab marble tables.
A few more stops at some machines and work stations, and the tour was over.Back in the store front, I went crazy and ate multiple samples of everything they had on the floor. Then I bought a can of cocoa nibs (so good in oatmeal cookies), and a variety pack of their flavored bars (gone in a week!).
I'd recommend the tour if you have older children, or for yourself if you are on vacation (or staycation) and want to goof around and do something you wouldn't normally do. But, I highly recommend you visit the store, and eat your way around the room. Buy a bar or two, too. They're quite good!

Theo Chocolate
3400 Phinney Ave. N., Seattle, WA 98103

206-632-5100