Jones Tofurky and Gravy Soda

I don't have a photo of this, but I can assure you, it was as noxious as it looked.

In honor of Thanksgiving, I decided to take one for the team and have some Jones Tofurky Soda, debuted this year. Excuse me, tofurky and gravy. The soda is designed for all masochistic vegans and vegetarians, and believe me, there's quite a demographic. So I bucked up and bought a bottle of this, and decided to try it for an audience of rapt friends.

In short? Utterly disgusting. If you're squeamish, stop now.

In long. Oh, my. First opening it, it's a lovely aroma of cat kitter, Windex, and gravy. The taste is very watery, and not at all like turkey at all, more gravy than anything else. The carbonation is the strange part. I keep expecting it to have the thick texture of gravy, but it's so...not gravy like. It's the Schrodinger's Cat of sodas. Gravy and not gravy.

Overall, it's like a Butterball turkey took me and raised me as one of its own, and sustained my frail little body by vomiting its juices into my mouth. So, for gastro-intestinal taste enthusiasts, this is all systems go. For the rest of the world, stick with what you can chew and leave the libations fruity-flavored.

0/10- INEDIBLE

Happy Thanksgiving!