My Weekend In Amish Country

I’m back from a four-day wedding / family weekend – neither of them mine. The events were held out in Lancaster, PA, otherwise known as “Amish Country."

Those horse and buggies are scary. I know someone that had his car totaled by a spooked horse. The Amish are pleasant, but stinky due to not bathing daily and wearing clothes made from synthetic fibers.

Amish food sucks! It’s bland and generally overcooked. Don’t be lured by the quintessential Amish dessert, Shoo Fly Pie. This is a molasses pie that’s nothing to write home about. Have a bite to say you’ve “done it” and dump it in the trash. Don’t be fooled by the Whoopee Pies, either. Unless, of course, you like to eat a fist full of marshmallow fluff and vegetable shortening between deviled food cake.

Those Pennsylvania Dutch also brought you the soft pretzel. You can thank some woman from PA for bringing Auntie Anne’s to a mall near you. The soft pretzel is snack crack of PA.

Pennsylvania has a lot of old markets in large buildings. I’m not sure why. Where I grew up we had open markets where farmers just drove their trucks up. My guess is that it’s cold here half the year, so they set up shop inside. Anyhow, this is the Central Market in Lancaster and some of their wares.

The dog wasn't for sale, but dressed to match the building and truck. Smart dog!