The roads were too icy on Valentine’s Day to drive into Philly and have dinner with my partner. Disappointed and mad, I decided to cut off someone’s balls. Someone had to pay! (Actually, I could care less about Valentines.)
Besides Crazy Squirrel, homeless cats also like to hang out on my back porch. (It's a veritable zoo out there.) A nice man a few doors down that volunteers with animals has adopted many cats, but a new male showed up to my porch a few weeks ago. He’s the biggest love-bug, and cries and cries for attention. He was breaking my heart. I can’t take another cat because my one cat is older and a bit of a loner. Plus, my partner is allergic to cats.
So, for Valentine's day I’m sponsoring his ball-whacking party, and then he’s off to Petco for adoption thanks to the help of Faithful Friends, a no-kill facility in my city. I know I’m preaching to the choir, but please don’t get a pet if you can’t take care of it. And, for god’s sake, get rid of their balls - they’re ugly. No one wants to see that shit.
If you like cats, go visit I Can Has Cheezburger? and laugh your balls off.
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