Kitchen Tips From a 93-Year-Old

Once again, I tacked a not-really-a-vacation weekend onto the long list of such weekends this summer when I accompanied my boyfriend to Corpus Christi, Texas to visit his 93-year-old grandfather. I’ve never been to Corpus Christi, but have always had a soft spot in my heart for this seaside town ever since watching The Legend of Billie Jean – the raddest 80’s teenage rebellion and girl empowerment movie set in and filmed in Corpus Christi – over and over and over again in the 80's with the assistance of HBO (down in Fraggle Rock...).

I was excited to finally visit Corpus Christi, but Corpus should have stayed immortalized in my little brain as the place where Billie Jean proclaims ,“Fair is fair!,” and rebel justice prevails in the end, as the town is not nearly as exciting in reality. Sadly, there is no statue for Billie Jean in Corpus. But there is one for Salena.

But I was not in Corpus to sightsee; I was there to visit with the gramps, after all. The dear man is 93, undergoing chemo, lives alone, cooks for himself, and can talk Joan Rivers under a table. I don’t know how he does it. He nearly wore me out. While there, he taught me a few lessons in the kitchen that, even though I've heard them before (and ignore them), maybe I should wissen up and do as I'm told.

Zeyde’s Kitchen Tips

• Organize your kitchen for most efficient use. The man can stand in one corner and reach most things he uses on a daily basis without taking a step. (That’s the corner in the photo)

• Use a real measuring utensil. The teaspoon in the silverware drawer is not for measuring.

• One knife cannot do everything. Some cut bread well, some spread butter well, and some cut tomatoes well. Use the appropriate knife.

• Clean up as you cook, and there will be minimal mess when you’re done.
  

• Have a food schedule. For example; eat oatmeal two days, dry cereal four days, and eggs one day during the week for breakfast. Schedules make decisions easy and assure you eat the required food you need.

• Last, but not least, when you’re 93, you can be as stubborn and set in your ways as you like, and you’re always right!(There’s something to look forward to.)

While milling around his kitchen, I stumbled upon some vintage cooking items in the cupboards. There’s always a few jars in the spice rack you have no clue when you purchased, so they stay. We're all guilty of this. But, if you can remain guilty for a few decades, you might have some eBay material. These goodies were so charming, I had to take photos.

The cocoa and sugar mixture in the small glass bottle with the for-real retro cartoon is for decorating tops of cookies. I don’t think we could get away with the word “midget” to describe these small paper cupcake liners nowadays. I don’t think you could pick up cupcake liners for the faded nineteen cents printed on the yellowing sticker, either .

This paper wrapper held the most beautiful match boxes – each covered with a different illustration. Amazingly, these matches have been floating around the kitchen longer than I’ve been on this earth!