Sinfully Delicious Dessert Sprays and Candy Bites

It was a relatively normal night and Captain Crunch and I were watching Unwrapped, when we saw these strange little pills Mark Summers was...reviewing, and when he was...back, in the style of Mark Summers with those strange vocal pauses, we were on the internet, ordering them. They promised to cure our cravings for real dessert both in the form of sprays and pills. And I'm reviewing those today, readers!

Also, the winner for the next theme week, by a nose, is spicy week! Get your kleenex ready because I see tears in the future. Next theme week will be next Sunday. Also, get your entries in for the contest or I'll have to eat all the leftovers by myself...Starting with the sprays. Serving size is two squirts, and the spray sampler pack came with strawberry cheesecake, key lime pie, cinnamon apple pie, and milk chocolate turtle. They're in handy spray bottles so you can put it in your bag and strangely squirt it into your mouth while your friends are eating tiramisu, but to each his own.

I started with the milk chocolate turtle. It's always a little odd, waiting for the sprayer to kick in because I'm sitting here holding this bottle to my mouth like a baby bird until it actually does spray. And when it did spray, it didn't taste like turtle at all. It tasted like overly sweet iced coffee. I literally tasted no chocolate and the caramel was very fake and artificial. Captain Crunch and I agree: eat a Russell Stover low-fat turtle instead of this. 0

The next one up to bat was the key lime pie spray. It tasted limey, all right, about as "limey" as my fake British ex-boyfriend. It was like eating a dry Kool-Aid packet. I'll give them credit- they did make it taste like lime, but there was no other flavor and that one flavor wasn't even done very well. Too sugary, too intense, too artificial. 1After that was the strawberry cheesecake, which had also fallen victim to the artificial flavor syndrome. It was intensely strawberry, in a syrupy, in your face fashion. I didn't taste cream cheese or crust, just really badly rendered strawberries. 0

The last of the sprays, thankfully, was the cinnamon apple pie spray. We steeled ourselves for the worst, but actually, it wasn't so bad at all. It tasted warm, with a definitely prominent cinnamon flavor and an apple note, though artificial, and came together with a nice caramel taste. I don't think I'd carry these around in my purse, as they don't curb my cravings for desserts, but the concept was different and the apple one wasn't actually bad at all. These did remind me of those candy sprays we all had as kids, though. 5

Next up were the dessert pills. These are really the most futuristic, offering the equivalent taste of any sumptuous dessert contained in each pill. The selections are as varied as a Las Vegas Buffet, with orange dreamsicle, mocha cappuccino cake, and more.The first dessert pill I tried, actually, while half asleep, was the banana cream pie. It was really tasty, and had both a creamy, rich banana flavor and a grahamy aftertaste in the middle. It was also less of an artificial banana than I'd assumed. I thought that although I'd never take this over an actual slice of banana cream pie, it was very silky and tasty. The texture of these is very smooth and consistent. There's no graininess in them. 7

After that was chocolate hazelnut toffee. This one really tasted more artificial than the rest of them, with the hazelnut in the representation of the aforementioned bad coffee and the chocolate taking on a tootsie roll flavor. Not so great. The texture was kind of grainy, too, and had little granules of sugar in it. 2Next was the mocha butterscotch sundae. The butterscotch was really prominent in this one, and it had the same silkiness of the banana cream pie. I really didn't taste any coffee in this one, unfortunately, and had more of the buttery, rum-like flavor than the rest of the sundae. This, although it wasn't an accurate representation of the aforementioned flavor, was tasty and average. 5

Deciding to try a real coffee flavor, I went for the mocha cappuccino cake. Whoa. Talk about coffee. This one was granulated and had a slower melt, but was very, very concentrated in the coffee flavor, definitely dominating over the chocolate and cake tastes. It was very tasty and definitely had a nice and strong coffee flavor in it, if slightly artificial. 6

Key lime pie was one of the flavors from the sprays, so I was hoping it would be a little better. I was right. The lime was smooth, a lot more subtle and sweet, with a creamy texture, and less artificial, Although I would have preferred more of a graham flavoring, this was definitely one of the best. 7After that was a milk chocolate truffle. This was fantastic, and made me wonder why all the other chocolate-based flavors had such bad chocolate flavoring. It tasted like chocolate whipped cream and definitely best resembled its dessert partner. 8

Apple cinnamon pie was bright red and tasted like a Yankee Candle and an Altoid had a baby. The cinnamon flavor was fresh and gave a little bit of spice to the pie, but the apple flavor was just off. A little odd, but still very buttery and good. Even better than the spray. 8

The next one was one of my favorites. Chocolate, peanuts, and caramel tasted exactly like a chocolate covered Baby Ruth bar. It was slightly salty, a little sweet, and carried all the elements of the flavors in it. If I were to order a single pack of these, it would be in this flavor, because everything mingled really well and best emulated the bar. 9

The biggest disappointment of the box was the one I had the most hope for, the orange dreamsicle. What could have been creamy and fruity tasted like St. Joseph's baby aspirin and a crappy Starburst knock off. It was acidic and artificial and nowhere near reminiscent of a dreamsicle. What a shame. 0

Strawberry cheesecake worried me, because I thought it would be reminiscent of the spray. It was absolutely incredible. The strawberry flavoring was more subtle and had a creaminess to it like an actual cheesecake, and was sweet without being saccharine. 7

The peach cobbler failed miserably, tasting like I accidentally ate some of my shampoo or body wash instead of a piece of candy. It had only the peach flavoring, no other notes, and that was artificial and tangy. 0

Saving the best for last, though, I prepared for the peanut butter cup. It was fantastic. Unlike an actual peanut butter cup, you get the peanut butter flavoring first and then the chocolate. I was amazed at how different this was from the chocolate, peanuts, and caramel, because the peanut butter was both salty and rich and yet different from the peanuts. Not as much chocolate as I'd have liked in here, but still damned good. 9

All in all, I liked these as a novelty, but they're definitely not the real thing. I'd invest my time and money in creating lower fat, indulgent versions of the desserts instead of relegating yourself to a tiny pill.

Clif Mojo Mountain Mix

Here's an interesting take on a classic concept- trail mix. Clif Bars have made a granola bar that contains all the best of trail mix- raisins, peanuts, pretzels, chocolate chips. This wasn't the bar I'd originally wanted. I had been inclined to try the peanut butter pretzel version, but the convenience store hadn't had it stocked yet.

This bar, though, was a pleasant surprise to open up because it is chocked full of goodies- they don't skimp on the toppings. The bar is kind of crumbly and loosely textured. It's very soft, but the soy crisps are crunchy. Unfortunately, that's the only crunch. There's no differentiation from each topping, and the raisins, chips, and pretzels just blend together, both in texture and flavor. The bar is also very sticky.The flavor was the biggest point of contention for me with this bar. Something about it seemed off. Biting into it, I thought the liberal amount of toppings would provide a nice flavor, but there was no salty in the sweet, very little sugar, and a very bitter, stale flavor to the bar. I wonder if there was an air leak in the packages or if the entire batch tasted like that, but it was pretty gross and I wouldn't get this one again unless I was confident that it didn't taste entirely awful.

Tropical Nerds Rope

Since Massachusetts is essentially, a muggy tropical oasis, I figured I'd review something vaguely reminiscent of that, so behold! The Nerds tropical rope.

I don't know, but I never really wanted to eat the Nerds on the package so much as hang out with them and maybe have a little pet Nerd of my own.
Okay, so maybe that's the wrong idea. But they always looked like they were having a ton of fun on their own private island or wherever and here I was, the almighty fun wrecker, eating them and crunching their little sugar bodies between my teeth.
This candy is the slightly more convenient Nerds Rope, which you can use to beat your friends with, make a braid with, or just eat. It falls into the category of "candies that are superior to most others because of their unusual length, height, whatever, as opposed to taste," like those yardsticks of bubblegum. That being said, it comes a few inches short of the packaging, clocking in at around eight or nine inches. What I also love about the packaging is how the "design as well as product shape are trademarks of Nestle," like there's a serious copyright and patent behind a vaguely turd shaped candy. God forbid someone chocolate coats it.It's a very springy candy, in the chew. The little Nerds are well adhered to the gummy rope of the candy, and only a few fell off. There are four different colors of Nerds on the rope, and as far as I can tell, I can't discern any individual flavor from them, but there's a very strong pineapple and coconut flavor to it. The rope on the inside tastes like green apple.

The texture is pretty nice. It starts out crunchy and then gets sandy, like a gummy worm, as you chomp the inside part. It's a little tangy, a little sour, but that could also be from the flavor. This has some serious citrus flavoring. Overall, though, I liked this snack, but I definitely prefer newer chocolate selections. I think the concept is interesting and appreciated that Nestle actually went through with a tropical flavor and stuck to their guns instead of generic "fruit."

Godiva Spring Chocolates + 1 Summer Truffle

This free truffle every month at Godiva thing isn't working out too well for me. At the end of April, I went in with the intention of getting two truffles (one being the freebie), and I came out with six. They had an assortment of new spring chocolates, but instead of the round truffle, these were flattened chocolates stamped with a pretty floral pattern. Finally, because I can't resist mango anything, I also got a mango summer truffle for "free."

I forgot to write down the flavors when I was at the shop, but according to some post-tasting research on a non-Godiva website, they are mandarin orange, pina colada, black raspberry, green pear, and lemon chiffon. I'm not sure I agree, and I plan on double checking, but please correct me in the meantime. You can think of this as a blind taste test.


I'll start with some controversy. Supposedly, the piece with the green and white pattern was Green Pear, but when I tasted it, it felt very apple. It was delicious - my favorite of them bunch - as it had a nice, subtle cinnamon flavor and a lovely caramel texture. It tasted like a rich apple cider in a melty milk chocolate shell. A+

There was no mistaking Black Raspberry (purple flowers). It was full of seeds! So many seeds, actually, that it was distracting. The dark chocolate shell was nice, but the filling was just a bit weak and didn't have the bite I look for in a raspberry sweet. The plentiful seeds were too much for me, but they did convey the feeling of jam. C+

The only white chocolate piece in the bunch, Pina Colada didn't have much flavor at all. All I could taste was a sweet white chocolate at first, then hints of coconut milk and a tiny bit of citrus. It was so very mild, and was my least favorite. C-

I believe the orange and yellow chocolate was Mandarin Orange, but it could have passed for lemon. The milk chocolate was quite good, but despite a crisp citrus flavor, the center was just a bit too sweet. Still, it was probably my third favorite out of the five. B

The last of the spring chocolates was Lemon Chiffon, in yellow and white flowers (I think). I know I said the green one was my favorite, but I may have to reconsider, because this chocolate was amazing. The filling tasted just like fresh lemon pie filling. I could taste the lemon juice, and the zesty, tart filling was just perfect with the buttery chocolate shell. A+


Finally, here's the bonus summer truffle: Mango. The dark chocolate shell had a nice snap, leading to a citrusy mango filling with a surprisingly authentic flavor. It was sweet and delicious, and even had some of the smooth, thick texture of mango. A

There were some outstanding chocolates in this bunch, and though I'm not sure I needed all of them, even the not-so-stellar flavors were fun to try (especially since I was guessing at flavors).

Renaissance Sausage

Update: no longer in operation.
Update: Back in business with a smaller cart.

This past Sunday was opening day of Headhouse Farmers' Market, and while most of the vendors are welcome faces from last year, Resnassance Sausage, a mobile food truck vending sandwiches made with local and organic homemade sausages, is a newcomer on the scene.

In fact, Sunday at Headhouse was Renassance Sausage's first day of business. Owners Dan Semko and Bret Cavanaugh are not new to the food truck business, though; they got their start in Charleston, South Carolina, vending breakfast burritos and sandwiches from a VW bus before heading back North to grace us with their food.Country herb pork sausage, Mediterranean lamb and beef sausage, Asian chicken sausage, and vegetarian sausage are on the sandwich menu all day. If you make it there before 11am a sausage, egg and cheese sandwich, as well as a brie and fig jam melt can be yours. Sides include coleslaw, potato salad, and a wheat berry salad.Of course, I came for the vegetarian sausage, as well as a whole bunch of other people — the vegetarian sausage outsold the meat sausages during my early morning wait in line.

The veggie sausage is made with vegetables, spices, and wheat gluten, then grilled and split down the center before landing in a hoagie roll with cucumber spears and blue cheese dressing.Carrots and black beans are definitely players in Renaissance's mild and vegetal tasting sausage, but I wish they would up their flavors and spices a bit — or a whole lot. The fat, squat sausage left lots of dead bread space at either end, meaning I slid the sausage to one end and tore off a good two and a half inches of bread to dispose of.

The good news here is that this was Renaissance Sausage's first day, and sausage recipes can be changed (more spices, please), and veggie sausages can easily be shaped into a longer link to better fit a bun. Here's hoping they make those changes.

I also thought the toppings on the meat sausage sandwiches sounded more robust and flavorful, but there's an easy fix to that — just ask for those instead next time.

Thanks, Renaissance Sausage, for thoughtfully including vegetarians in your sausage fest. We really do appreciate it, as I'm sure you saw from all the veggie sausage sales made on your first day.

Renaissance Sausage
Headhouse Farmers' Market, 2nd &Lombard, every Sunday 10am-2pm
For more locations, follow on Twitter and Facebook

Local Burger, Northampton, MA

Couple of nights ago, Fleeper, Erik, and I went to Local Burger in Northampton. For a few days, I'd been craving a good burger in the worst way, so we decided to pop that cherry and get us some gourmet fast food. That's really what Local is, anyhow. I was under the impression that it was quasi fancy, but when I got there I threw off my rental jacket because it was refreshingly casual and hip. And they were playing my childhood on the damned radio, I swear. It was like they'd popped in the "Foodette lives the 90's" mix CD- Gin Blossoms, LFO, and Daft Punk. All stuff I used to hear all the time and left in the vaults. So, thanks.

So even though I'm back to watching Daria and Doug and living in the past, this burger is blatantly fresh in my mind. I ordered the Juicy Lucy, a burger stuffed with American cheese and grilled with maple mayonnaise. With that, we got a large order of fries, too, for sharing.The fries came out first, actually, and those were lovely to snack on while eating. I would have liked them all together, though. They were very fresh and very crispy, and soft on the inside. I liked the seasoning that they used a lot, because I don't think it was just salt. I tasted garlic on it, too, and that was a different and tasty touch. However, the amount was average sized and was definitely not enough for three people, especially at $3.50 apiece and when most of the fries are under an inch long. Five Guys has twice the fries for that price and they're much bigger. Still, a hand cut fry is a hand cut fry, and that's delicious.The burgers came out a little while later, while we were still working on the fries. My burger was a beast. Being accustomed to chicken, I think I underestimated how large ten ounces really is, especially on your plate. And I now have a little more admiration for those people who finish a 60 oz. steak in an hour. The burger was nicely charred, but a little tough and dry to chew through and wasn't seasoned enough. It was very juicy and the cheese oozed out beautifully and kept it nice and moist. I might have preferred a cheese with a higher melting point, because although I liked the goo, I would have enjoyed it more in my mouth and less on my plate. It was still very tasty and fun to eat, though. The mayonnaise was delicious and imparted more of a maple flavor than mayo, but gave the burger a nice moistness that both flavored and lubricated.Overall, I would definitely come back and try this restaurant again. They had some really interesting sandwiches on the menu and they played amazing music. Their other dishes look interesting and innovative- Captain Crunch chicken tenders? I'm there!

Nu South Strawberry Lemonade

Here's a nice, cooling drink for the summer, sent by Nu South, a flavored lemonade beverage company. It's a bright pink drink with lemonade and strawberries, two of the heat's favorite things. If only they found a way to add in a pool float, it would be perfect.The drink is very cool and refreshing, and I like the fact that the company has many varieties of lemonade from different states, like Georgia to represent their peach lemonade. This lemonade represents Alabama. The color might be a little artificial for some, and it definitely imparts some of that in the taste. It's bright pink, like the color of the terrible sunburn my face now sports, with a little eye area sectioned off in the shape of my Wayfarers. There's a predominantly floral, tangy flavor from the combination of the tastes, and it reminded me a little of Red Robin's freckled lemonade, but with less fruity flavor and more lemon. It tasted a lot like red gummy bears.The lemonade flavor wasn't extraordinary, but it definitely imparted a good, sour flavor that made the drink far less saccharine than it would have been. It cut the sweetness and helped, but the overall texture of the drink is a bit syrupy. I could see myself ordering this in a restaurant and not minding that, but in a retail bottle, I want something a little less sugary.