Lemon Ginger Gnu Bar

The makers of Gnu Bar invite us to smile, because their product promotes "natural regularity." As I tasted this fibrous granola-esque bar, I was forced to consider whether I ought to, in the words of Gnu Bar's packaging copy, "Join the Movement." I chose to take only one small bite, with the aim of not limiting the scope of my whereabouts and activities in the next 24 hours. This small taste was more than enough to establish that there is no reason I would ever voluntarily eat a Gnu Bar again. It tasted like dry, gingery herbal tea, vitamin pills, and cardboard, and had a texture composed of synthesized, round cluster-particles suspended in baked oat slurry.I have written in the past about a bar that unintentionally had the appearance and consistency of the, uhhh, end result of the digestive process, but this is the first product I have reviewed which enthusiastically touts its ability to make you shit. Gnu Bar, you are for old people who can't taste food yet crave liberal-flavored novelty. Also, force feeding this product to a willing victim is an effective form of hazing. That's what I call "Food That Works." In conclusion, suckage.(Author's note: This was written by Keepitcoming as Foodette is incapacitated from involuntarily consuming this bar.)

Peppered Cheese Jerky

Terrible confession. I kind of like jerky. And not the high class, aged maple smoked Angus type, either. I lean heavily towards the mechanically separated persuasion, if you know what I mean. While it's not my first choice for a quick snack, I'm always drawn to its strange flavors and unique texture.When I found Cheese Jerky, I was dubious. Cheese as jerky? Dried cheese? With meat? The concept sounded a little dicey. To my surprise, it wasn't so much "cheese jerky" as it was "cheese with jerky inside." Made from mozzarella string cheese and little pieces of jerky. Huh. Well, I'm all for a snack, especially one that allows me to seamlessly introduce dried meat to my nachos, so I dove into this with a lusty hunger.Unfortunately, it didn't really live up to my jerky-related expectations of smoky flavors, camping related fantasies, and the South. The cheese was delicious, sharp, and creamy, but overpowered the jerky. Not to mention that the jerky then rendered the whole concept of string cheese useless, making it hard to pull off strips that weren't marred by the jerky studded inside.In an ideal universe, this would be a lot milder of a cheese with much more spice on the jerky and a more even ratio so all could be enjoyed. I will say the flavor was decent on nachos, but still really wasn't able to impart that meaty flavor I'd expected before and didn't melt as well as a plain cheese.

Blackbird Pizzeria

How does one decide which slice of pizza to order when none of the pizzas are off limits? The freshest one out of the oven, of course.

Straight out of the oven, a hot, fresh pie topped with perfectly toasted artichoke hearts, soft and sweet caramelized onions, just enough crumbles of peppery seitan sausage, and Daiya cheese (the non-soy vegan cheese voted most popular in school by those who like melty and creamy personalities), slid into the counter display case next to a plain vegan cheese pizza and a vegan pepperoni pizza. Hot or not, the vegan artichoke pizza had my name on it.I should stop using vegan as a descriptor, because at Blackbird Pizzeria, the recently opened and much anticipated pizza and sandwich shop, everything is vegan. Into the same space on 6th Street formerly occupied by Gianna's Grille, the loved/hated vegan and non-vegan pizzeria (everyone loved Gianna's until they fessed up to knowingly serving vegans non-vegan cheese), Blackbird has landed and taken the same genre of food (vegan pizza and sandwiches), waved a magic wand, and made vegan pizza and sandwiches a hundred times better.

I'm sure Blackbird's chef and co-owner, Mark Meebus, previously a chef at Philly's haute vegan restaurant, Horizons, helped foster the sense of pride in food that is clearly evident at Blackbird, along with partner Ryan Moylan.
I'm going to add Blackbird's pizza to the list of new Philly pizza darlings which includes Stella and Zavino. The dough at Blackbird is a bit different, though, and, dare I say, I think I like Blackbird's better.

Blackbird's always crispy and never saggy crust offers a little something for all types of crust lovers — thick, medium, and thin. Thin in the middle, gradually growing thicker toward the outside, and then a huge lip that is crispy on the outside, but soft and warm on the inside. Some may say that huge pizza lip is a waste, but get a hot pie straight out of the oven and I think you'll be a big-lip convert. All you vegans who suffered through the dog food-like vegan cheesesteaks at Gianna's, come to Blackbird and see how a vegan cheesesteak should be done. Seitan at Blackbird is supplied by Upton's Naturals in Chicago, and their thinly sliced "Philly style" seitan is browned on a griddle along with green peppers, onions, and mushrooms fill a crusty, long roll, the heat melting the mild Daiya cheese into a proper goo that seeps throughout. One of the best cheesesteaks I've ever eaten, and comes about as close to the real thing as you'd want.

Zing! And, just like that, Blackbird waved it's magic wand and elevated the casual cuisine of vegan pizza and cheesesteaks.

Sandwiches will set you back about $8. A plain cheese pizza slice is $3, and a whole plain cheese pizza is $15. Pizza toppings are extra, and include goodies such as seitan pepperoni, seitan sausage, green peppers, mushrooms, fennel, artichokes, caramelized onions, avocado, jalapeno, black olives, and garlic. A bbq portobello sandwich, fries, and sweets from Vegan Treats are also on the current menu, which should see a few new items in the near future.

While the business gets going full force, it's cash only and hours are limited to Tuesday-Sunday from 3pm-10pm. Delivery has yet to be rolled out, but when it does Blackbird and their pizzas will be on auto-dial.


Blackbird Pizzeria
507 S. 6th St., Philadelphia, PA 19147
215-625-6660

Latkes for Two

Well, it's fall. We woke up cold and smelled the woodsmoke and we just knew. Of course, the fact that the weather was perfect and almost warm this weekend didn't quite belie the true nature of the season, but damn it, it was time to pull out the big guns in the food world.Fall is my element. It's the one season where I can show my prowess by demanding a month-long birthday celebration, where I can dig out my impressive collection of swanky jackets, and cook hot and comforting foods. So yesterday, for both breakfast and dinner, I cooked up a batch of latkes.These are bastardized, but I simply do not care. If my old Jewish relatives tasted these, they'd stop spinning in their graves. They're that delicious and freakishly simple to make and are hardy enough to carry a boatload of toppings. Nom.

Latkes for Two
Ingredients (serves two, makes eight or nine largeish latkes)
1 1/2 large potatoes
1/8 cup of chopped parsley
1/8 cup of Parmesan cheese
3 eggs
Salt, pepper, garlic powder, and smoky paprika to taste
Canola oil
Various toppings- sour cream, applesauce, bacon jam, hot sauce

1. Start by peeling and grating your potatoes. For me, this is the most satisfying part of this recipe. Grate them with a hand grater into a large bowl. Add your parsley and Parmesan.
2. Lay out three or four paper towels or a clean dish towel and pour on the potatoes. This might be the most important part, as it will get out a lot of excess moisture. Potatoes have a ton of water, and that will splatter as you fry them and burn your face off. So lay the potatoes out and squeeze the water out until they are dry and can be stirred in pieces instead of a lump.
3. Add your eggs and remaining spices and mix together. Heat your oil in a saucepan, roughly a half inch deep.
4. When the oil is hot and has small bubbles on the bottom of the pan, take a spoonful of potato and gently lay it in the pan, spreading it in an even, flat layer. Add as many as your pan can fit. I found that three at a time made it easier to flip. Flip when one side is brown.
5. When the latkes are golden brown and crispy on both sides, let them cool on a paper towel lined plate and serve immediately with toppings.We opted for a savory route last night, with flavored sour cream, Indian ketchup (soon to be covered) regular sour cream, and bacon hot sauce, quenching our thirsts with apple cider. It was so delicious.

Stewed Okra and Tomatoes

Stewed okra and tomatoes over rice is one of my all-time favorite side dishes, that, I swear, it seems like we ate every week when I was growing up. Surely we didn't dine on this simple Southern dish that frequently, and even if we did, I never tired of it.

For one, I simply adore rice and can eat it at every supper, as we almost nearly did growing up in South Carolina where rice is king. And, even as a kid I always enjoyed okra. Yes, it's slimy, but don't kids like slimy things? I did! Okra was like a toy on the plate. See how long the slime strands will stretch, squish the slimy pod around your mouth. And, best dinner table game ever, race to stab a singular, slime-covered okra seed with the tine of your fork before your brother could. It's not easy.
Then there are the bright, acidic tomatoes that really are the stars of the dish as far as flavor is concerned. Everybody makes stewed okra and tomatoes with fresh okra, but the tomatoes are almost always from a can, because, well, canned stewed tomatoes are picked when perfectly ripe and have all their full flavors preserved. Go ahead, use canned tomatoes, it's perfectly fine.

But what if you used your last can of stewed tomatoes for soup the previous week, and you have just-bought, fresh, local tomatoes on your counter? Roast those fresh tomatoes first to get that sweet, concentrated tomato flavor you'd get from a can.
After you're done roasting tomatoes (or popping open a can of tomatoes), the dish comes together as simply as sauteing some onion, then simmering okra and tomatoes in liquid (water, vegetable broth, or the tomato juice from the canned tomatoes) until the okra is tender.

Serve stewed okra and tomatoes over rice, for sure, and if my memories aren't too hazy, there'd be a pork chop and a side of butter beans on the plate, too. Nowadays, tempeh does the trick for me, though.
Stewed Okra and Tomatoes
serves 4 as a side

3 large tomatoes (or 28-ounce can of stewed tomatoes)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 pound okra, chopped
1 cup vegetable broth
olive oil
salt
pepper

• If roasting tomatoes instead of using a can of stewed tomatoes: Preheat oven to 225 degrees. Line a baking pan with parchment paper. Cut tomatoes into eights and place on parchment paper-line baking pan. Drizzle tomatoes lightly with olive oil. Salt and pepper tomatoes. Bake for 3 hours. Cool enough to remove skins, if desired (I leave skins on).
  
• In a medium-sized pot over medium-low heat, add about 1-2 tablespoon of olive oil. Add onion and cook for five minutes, stirring occasionally.
• To the onions, add okra, tomatoes, and vegetable broth. Simmer, with the pot lid partially covering the pot until okra is tender (depending on the size and variety of okra, this could be any where from 10-30 minutes). Season with salt and pepper to taste.
  
• Serve warm over warm rice.
  

Sweet's Port Wine Gels

On our aforementioned Vermont outing yesterday, Keepitcoming and I found these unusual wine-related candies. I love wine flavored oddities, especially if they're accurate. I saw these on Gigi Reviews a while back and nearly levitated with glee. In addition to the fact that they're smart and sophisticated enough for a dinner party, they're versatile enough to be savored with a candy cigar in silk footie pajamas while reading a leather-bound edition of Pat the Bunny in one's study. They're fun and they're mature. I feel like a real adult!So these wine gems were port, but came in three flavors. This looked like the most promising variety. They're covered in dark chocolate and come in little batons. For the size of the box, which looks like one of those fancy wine cylinders, the amount of candy isn't nearly proportionate to the amount of packaging. It's completely superfluous, but very snazzy, so I forgave them that. The inside of the box reminds me that it "pairs well with good friends." To me, port pairs better with more port, but that's neither here nor there.The gel is soft and gelatinous, rather than gummy, and melts quickly in the mouth. Immediately, I was hit with a rather heady, substantial port flavor. This surprised me a lot, as I was not expecting these to fully deliver. They actually tasted quite boozy and smoky, which I loved. Unfortunately, the flavor is really diminished by the coating of dark chocolate. It could have been a boon had it been of a better quality, but it was chalky and waxy tasting and melted irregularly.

I'd love to try more of these. I wish more companies were bold enough to utilize wines in their flavorings and accurately portray the flavor, because I see it as a fantastic ingredient to complete a meal, a candy, or dessert. Or breakfast. Or midnight snack. It's essential and really elevates the feeling and sensations of a meal to a higher plane, and would be so much fun to eat in less traditional applications. This definitely made me hopeful for finding more wine snacks and candies.

Vermont Country Deli, Brattleboro, VT

Sorry for the lapse in posts. Keepitcoming and I had a huge day yesterday, spending most of the day across the border in Vermont, and culminating the night with a fantastic concert.

We'd been wanting to check out Vermont for a while. I'd never really hung around to see what was going on there, and being a mere 30 miles from the border, wanted to see what cool things we could find there.

Most of our day was spent driving and checking out the awesome weirdness at the Vermont Country Store, but we walked around Brattleboro later on and got some fantastic sandwiches, too. The Vermont Country Deli is famous for great sandwiches, desserts, and strange groceries- three things I happen to fancy myself. While they're most notorious for their pulled pork sandwich, we were looking for something a little more portable to enjoy on the ride home.

I chose one of their specialty sandwiches, the Route 9 Roast Beef. It was roast beef, American cheese, horseradish mayonnaise, mustard, and lettuce on my choice of bread. At the recommendation of Keepitcoming, I chose the hard roll. It was very good and cushioned the sandwich well without getting overly bready or crumbly. It was like an individual challah without the egginess. I was a little disappointed that, this being Vermont, they did not offer the option of cheddar cheese. It seemed like a no-brainer, especially with roast beef.They gave a decent portion of roast beef on the sandwich, enough to spill over the edges and still lay thickly on the bread. The mustard was a little overpowering, but the horseradish in the mayo made a definite impression on the overall flavor. I really, really enjoy the combination of horseradish and roast beef. The cheese was unimpressive, and I stick to my opinion that cheddar would be fantastic in this sandwich. The butter lettuce gave a nice bitterness to the melange of salty flavors going on, and accentuated the horseradish.Keepitcoming's sandwich was on the same challah-like roll with chicken salad, lettuce, tomatoes, and alfalfa sprouts. All the vegetables were fresh and crisp. The chicken salad was a very good quality and had a nice texture, but came out tasting rather bland.The addition of dill in the salad was helpful, but did not add a lot to the overall flavor. We're spoiled by the State Street Deli, I suppose.For dessert, we shared a face-sized oatmeal raisin cookie. It was tasty, but Keepitcoming swore that they were normally much more fresh and was surprised that it was so average, especially on a holiday weekend with many patrons.It was studded with raisins and had a mildly spicy flavor, but aside from that, was a regular cookie with not a whole lot to stand upon.