Chick-Fil-A

All right, guys, as of now, I have two prize packs full of things like Chick-Fil-A sauce, candy rocks, Sarsaparilla candy, crab chips, and Tasty Kake merchandise with NOBODY WHO WANTS IT. Seriously! Not a single person has commented yet. I'm sad! Come on! Free schwag and stuff! Don't you guys want prizes?

So today I went to two places- Chick-Fil-A and Roy Roger's. The RR review will wait until tomorrow, perhaps, because I said so. But today I broke that damned Chick-Fil-A cherry and I have the proof to show!

We went during peak hours, unfortunately, so the breakfast menu was unavailable, but I'll try to wrangle a trip during breakfast, perhaps. One of the things I noticed when I went inside was that the air smelled not of greasy fast food, but of fresh potatoes. Whether or not that was because they made them fresh all day, I couldn't tell, but the air was just permeated with that scent.

So inside, I ordered my food. Got an original chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and a cookies and cream milkshake.

The chicken sandwich was the item I'd most coveted thus far, but those waffle fries absolutely blew me out of the water. Normally, I put a ton of salt and pepper on my fries, but these needed absolutely nothing. The fries were crispy and had a salty, near buttery flavor, and were a light white color, unlike the yellow of McDonald's or BK which means that there's sugar in them that has caramelized for color appeal. These were just amazing, though.

Each fry was huge, with my only criticism being that there weren't enough huge ones, and a lot of crispy bits instead, but really, that's the only criticism and believe me, I'm trying to find something wrong for the sake of an honest review. They were amazing, with a perfect ratio of batter to fry, easily rivaling some of my favorites.

9/10- AMAZING

The chicken sandwich did not need the bread. The chicken fillet was so thick it almost engulfed the bread, and like the fries, had so much natural flavor that it needed no condiments. No salt. No pepper. No cheese, ketchup, sauce. Anything.

The breading was lighter than most nuggets and fried chicken that I've eaten, not heavy or flaky like panko, less of a dough than a light, light batter. It was surprisingly good, and unlike some thicker ones, didn't come off in a shell and leave the naked piece behind. It was a hefty piece of chicken, too, hanging off the bun on most sides.

The bun was average. I would have rather had a biscuit, because I hear the biscuits at Chick-Fil-A are to die for. It was a standard wheat burger bun and if there was any butter, I didn't notice it. I was unimpressed by the bread. It held up well, though, and didn't get mushy or gross.

7/10- WONDERFUL

The cookies and cream shake was thicker than any shake I'd ever had and tasted entirely of sweet, rich cream. It was as though the milk base was made of whipped cream instead of milk. It was great.

The texture was fun at first, but it never ended up melting, and it just got aggravating to keep sucking at the straw. It was like trying to make someone come with a BJ. I kept sucking and sucking and barely anything came out. I threw it out halfway through because it was just too much work.

The flavor was great, though. In addition to the creamy taste, there was a decent amount of cookies in the shake in large enough pieces to come through the straw, but not so much that they jammed up the straw and made it hard to sip. The presentation was beautiful, too, with a veritable mountain of whipped cream and a cherry on top, something I rarely see with dessert drinks these days.

7/10- LOVELY

I also got to try some nuggets. They were sort of like the perfect lovechild of the KFC popcorn chicken and McDonald's nuggets, or if McDo's nuggets were of a higher quality. The breading was the same light and crispy coating, and the chicken was all white breast meat, nothing reconstituted or dark. They were awfully tiny, though, about two of them equalling an average sized nugget, but the meat was of a high quality.

I wasn't really sure what to make of these, because I liked them but didn't think that six of them were nearly substantial enough for a meal. They were definitely too tiny for me to eat and feel satisfied, but they were very juicy and delicious in quality. I guess if you're looking for quality over quantity, they're fantastic, but certainly not enough to make you full.

5/10- GOOD

I hate Chick-Fil-A. I absolutely despise it. Why, Foodette? You reviewed it so nicely! Because it's nowhere near where I live. And now I will want it, every single day of my life.

Dammit!