God of War Kratos Fury Blackberry Lime

Here I am, with another Slurpee review! I'm working hard on getting the Slurpees back to the lightbox and am considering playing around with them in it, but that's a damned hard task when the 7-11 is 20 minutes away. I'm trying, I'm trying!

However, here it is. Soooooo, in Greek mythology, Cratos, or Kratos, as all the kool kids are doing nowadays, was the personification of strength and manliness and apparently now, he's the meaning of purple and mild-mannered wimpiness. I mean, really, now, Slurpee. As wonderful and intense as "blackberry lime" may seem, it doesn't really give a punch to the face at all. And I ain't getting any of the fury that I'm supposed to be getting at all.
The drink is mild. I mean, just look at the color! It's a beautiful lavender. If this drink were marketing Katamari, I'd understand. If it were advertising daisies and puppies and sunshine, I'd feel all right. But the taste is just bleh. I took a sip. It was very generic. I got a hint of lime at first, and then, not much else. The "blackberry" flavor, I'm sure you know, isn't anything like your grandma Annie used to pick off the bushes. It's a careful composite of Blue Lake 132 and looooooove.

The flavor was a little bitter, which took some getting used to, and finally, after a few tried and true sips and tongue smacks, I decided I had no interest in getting used to it at all, and I gave it to Erik. He dumped the rest of his Peace Tea in it, which, strangely enough, improved the overall taste.

Kratos is crying. Are you listening?