Lol-ed my cat, and I think it's hilarious. Shoot me.When Jane magazine had the plug pulled and my subscription ended (I grew up Sassy and never strayed), Condé Nast informed me with a post card that I would be receiving Glamour in place of Jane.
Puh-leez! I’m too old for Jane, and I’m definitely too old for Glamour. I don’t need a magazine to tell me how to please a man every other page, or how to get voluminous hair. Answers: sex and pie; against the laws of physics.
So, I looked at Condé Nast’s magazine roster to see what else my $10 yearly subscription could buy. Golf World? Elegant Bride? Big NO. Bon Appétit or Gourmet? Yes. Which one, though? I’m not a religious reader. I only browse these magazines at air-blasted libraries or book stores when escaping my house in the throngs of summer heat waves.
Off to the bookstore I go to compare and contrast the two magazines. (I would like to think I'm an informed shopper.) Oh. Bon Appétit is out of stock. Seeing no point in flipping through Gourmet if there’s nothing to compare and contrast it to, I snag my favorite, and shockingly expensive (the dollar is worthless), food magazine, BBC Good Food, and retreat to an isolated corner of the book store.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…and I’ve ordered Bon Appétit. Of course, one issue of Glamour slides under my door before I get things straightened out. I read it, of course, after tearing out nine! perfume adds with scented tabs – I don’t have allergies, and still find this olfactorily offensive. I was shocked to discover that women like foreplay. Oh, and patent leather accessories are what’s in this season.
Today, two issues of Bon Appétit show up (I guess they felt guilty for sending me Glamour), one of which is the Thanksgiving Ultimate Guide. Four versions of turkey and gravy (not making any of those!), four kinds of stuffing, four kinds of cranberry relish (love, love, love), six ways with potatoes, eight hearty vegetable side dishes, three breads, and six pies and tarts. As usual, I think I’ll start with dessert.
I’m off to gaze at the glossy pictures of perfectly arranged, staged, and lit food. As Julia Child said, “It's so beautifully arranged on the plate – you know someone's fingers have been all over it.” She was also fond of saying saying, "Bon Appétit !"
Warning: recipes from Bon Appétit may show up on this here blog in the future.
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