Pretzelmaker Parmesan Pretzel

Yes, it's back to the mall for me. You're lucky I don't start reviewing pretzel dogs. Or the flavor of crappy teenage vampire novels, which, for the record, tastes like sorrow and fear. Or those giant novelty lollipops which send a girl into diabetic shock after the first lick. Or the speed of a Rascal going on errands to FYE and making returns to Macy's.

Anyway, the mall is a pretty gorgeous place, and my mall has not one, but two pretzel stands. I usually opt for both, but when I'm not being a gratuitous fatass, I go to the one closest to the pet store. Today's excursion, while rife with miniature dachshunds, was also a story of heartbreak for the parmesan pretzel.I ordered the pretzel and dug in. While slightly misshapen, it was also a little different from the Sour Cream and Garlic monstrosity at Auntie Anne's that I'd so enjoyed. It hadn't been dipped in any toppings, rather, they'd just been sprinkled on, and I'd seen nothing viscous as to adhere to the toppings whatsoever. Because of this, there was also a really uneven distribution of cheese, as it was literally just thrown on by the guy at the counter. The pretzel bread dough, interestingly enough, was sweeter than I thought it would be, and tasted like more of a honey wheat, but it was a tasty vessel for the cheese. It was pretty buttery in flavor, but in texture, it seemed dryer. It was chewy and doughy, like it had been underbaked, but was overall, satisfying, and sustained me for a few hours as I made fun of the Hot Topic loiterers and cut in line for Alice in Wonderland.

Okay, readers, tell me...who do you hate at the mall?