Amp Energy Relaunch: REVIVE

Aside from having an official certification from the IRS stating that I am able to be process federal tax returns for the 2010 tax year and partially fulfilling my childhood dream of working for a three letter acronymic government agency, the best perk to having my tax preparation internship is the free food we are able to take from the cafeteria. After coming off of yet another Call of Duty induced night of heavy drinking and needless to say the morning hangover, I felt the best thing I could reach for first thing in the morning would be an energy drink.

Of all the cans of energy drinks displayed in the drink shelf of the cafeteria, the one that I felt would best describe what I needed was Amp Energy Relaunch: REVIVE. Surely it would be something to help me get back on track with my professional life after getting noob-tubed all over the new Call of Duty: Black Ops First Strike map pack then subsequently doing shots of Jack Daniels in an attempt to forget that fact. The orange and black tiger striped can looked rather badass and it was a nice change from the regular nuclear waste green colored cans. Since it advertises that it was going to contain a “burst of orange citrus” I thought that at best it would taste like a can of highly caffeinated orange soda and at worst it would taste like a can of orange soda mixed with ass juice. Since all energy drinks contain the same 4 things (ginseng, taurine, B vitamins, and guarana), I expected it to have a red bull type of an aftertaste.

To my surprise, this can of energy tasted just like a regular can of orange soda. And everybody knows that I LOVE ORANGE SODA!! But the real question would be who doesn’t love orange soda? That one homeless guy who hangs out in front of the liquor store on Whalley Ave. probably likes orange soda. Even President Barack Obama probably loves orange soda too. There was no taste of ass like a regular energy drink has and certainly no aftertaste of ass. It was very drinkable and it was actually quite delicious. In fact I could drink this drink all day if I wanted to. Maybe mixing it with some grain alcohol might make it into some sort of homemade Four Loko concoction… hmm.

The only gripe that I have with this drink is that it loses its carbonation rather quickly. It certainly tastes less carbonated that a regular can of orange soda would and therefore easier to drink quickly. After about 20 to 30 minutes the carbonation goes away and it tastes like a flat orange soda. Compared to a regular flat energy drink, flat orange soda tastes exponentially better. It would probably be the best energy drink ever if it could keep its carbonation longer but I think that might be asking too much since I don’t think anyone sips an energy drink over a long period of time and instead chugs it down as quick as possible to get the instant effect.