Monday, September 13, 2010

TGI Friday's Anytime Sliders Sweet and Smoky BBQ

Been going over my demographics with Google Analytics, and I realized that I was sorely lacking in the internet badass department, aged 24-48. As this is a core audience of food bloggers, this post is thus a dedicated homage to you, the WoW elf kingpin, the fantasy football pimp, anon itself...the turbulence behind the tubes. I present to you, the Anytime Sliders.TGI Friday's Anytime Sliders might look like they're perfect for a long night of cybering with Janice from Milwaukee, with their cushy bun and hand sized patty, but they're a little more slippery than I thought. The burger is cooked, whole, in the microwave, and essentially steams in the package.

When I took the burger out of its package, I had only one thought rampant in my mind. "This is smaller than I thought." Now, I won't say I've never said that before, but rarely in relation to a slider. I expect them to be small, but this is smaller than the tit-shaped mouse I'm considering buying. They felt hearty, though, and were adequately cooked through.Chuck Norris, the OG of internet badassery, salutes you with this slider.

One gripe I had with the cooking process was that the cheese was included in the package and melted all over the plastic and not on the burger, causing me to have a nearly naked patty. Because the cheese adds extra lubrication and is thus easier for neckbeards to swallow, the lack of dairy could cause some throat blockage for consumers. The microwaving process also made the top half of the bun hard and impossibly dry, and the bottom half soggy and covered in meat juice. Realizing that this is a nightmare for bros everywhere, TGI Friday's definitely loses a core section of their market with such a fatal error.

The patty itself is innocuous, but it's best to keep it in between the buns. I use this philosophy with food and Chatroulette, and in my experience, it works on both counts. It's disturbingly hexagonal and is best unseen. I didn't expect a hand shaped, grass fed Angus patty, but at the same time, I'd rather not play Tetris with my food. The patty is tasty, though be warned- it's not 100% beef. Part of it is made with TVP, the stuff in veggie burgers, and it tastes of that. It's soft and juicy, though. With the barbecue sauce, which is more sweet than smoky, it's not a terrible snack, but is probably not as portable or accommodating as the package insinuates.

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